The Laid Back Hero of Atlas – Chapter 33: How the Queen Won

After a warm meal, and a nice bath with my family I headed down to the weapons merchant to deliver a package. Handing him the package he thanked me for delivering it. Casually bringing up the former royal family he started laughing. Leading me to the special shop he showed me them. Currently the eldest daughter was swollen like a yoga ball. Asking what race she was having he said one of Darius’s boys bought her services. The other two seemed to be free though which was surprising.

“No clients have taken an interest in them.”, he said, “It is alright though because apparently a few new clients will be of age in the coming months. They have shown great interest in them. If you’re wanting them now is the time to do so.”

“My fiancée’s would be upset if I skipped over them.”, I said with a grin, “Where did the four new bloods end up?”

“In use right now.”, he said, “A couple of young man snatched them up right as they got in the shop apparently.”

“Well that’s nice.”, I said with a half-hearted chuckle.

Returning to his shop I thought I’d pay the princesses a visit. Walking inside the owner didn’t take too much notice of me. Walking up to them I asked how they were doing.

“How does it look like we are doing!”, the eldest sister said, “I am carrying a beastman cub!”

“Could be worse.”, I said, “Thought I’d let you know some friends of yours will be joining you.”

Speaking of them some of the guards under the owners charge sat the four women down next to them. Leaving them to speak to one another I left them be. Frankly I thought this shop was disgusting, but it did a great job of acting as punishment for them. Returning home I sat down for a cup of coffee reading the local news. Sitting next to me the staff also looked over the news. Leaving them with the paper I went to bed getting up early the next day for the long drive. Bundled up tightly the four Heroines, and I drove into the storm guided by a compass we were using to keep us in a northerly direction. Taking turns driving we reached the border in three days. We would have made it in two, but Ruby drove us into a ditch which I had to pull us out of.

“Halt!”, the guards said at the crossing, “Who goes there?”

Sticking my head out the window I told them we were headed north for the coast. Examining the van, and us closely they were satisfied nothing was illegal. Letting us go we sped off to the nearest town. Booking a room we decided to do some recon. Chatting up the locals we found everyone to be in decent high spirits given their neighbors were enjoying the summer weather. Continuing through Rainford we eventually reached the border crossing with the federation. This would be the most difficult crossing so we took it slowly. After spending a day there filling out paperwork we were granted entry.

The roads in the federation were surprisingly clear of debris, and snow unlike the other nations. Stopping in the border town for the night the four women kept up our cover while I spoke with a contact in the underground. Asking for any information regarding Darius’s relatives I was saddened to learn only five remained. The others had been worked to death extracting coal from the earth. Asking where I could find them he said that the federation capital city, Nova, was where they were currently. Thanking him I tipped him well for his work.

Communicating the information to everyone Laura pointed out where the city was on the makeshift map. With a destination in our minds we set off the next morning for the capital. Right on the border between the two former nations the capital city was decorated very extravagantly. Booking a room in an inn near the edge of town I went to the market under the city for information. After showing my letters of introduction to the big boss down here he was more than willing to give me the information. He was so excited he took me there himself.

“These five have been down here a long time. Being the beastman hating country it is no one every wanted them.”, he said, “That being the case they are on sale for you.”

Leaving me with the slaver I followed him inside. Asking him about the current situation above ground he the slaver didn’t seem very happy. Explaining that all the merchants down here were paying the government for land rights to run their shops underground. The tax was extremely high given that they operated in the black market. It had reached the point that most of the market was closed.

“Times must be tough.”, I said.

“Yes, it is.”, he said, “I am not quite sure why you have an interest in these kids.”

“…kids..?”, I asked as he showed me the five of them.

Sitting in a cage two little girls, and three little boys looked at me terrified. Looking at the slaver I asked where the adults were.

“The mine collapsed two years ago.”, he said looking at them, “With no one wanting them they were eventually forced into slavery.”

“They aren’t even ten years of age yet!”, I said in disgust.

“It isn’t my rules…if I hadn’t taken them in no one else was going to help them.”, he reminded me.

“I guess that is true. How much do you want for them?”, I asked looking at the beaten children.

“If I can get enough to pay for this months tax I’d be satisfied with that.”, he said.

Paying one hundred gold for them the six of us left the shop. Teleporting us back to the mansion the women were in shock.

“What happened to them!!”, all of them said fawning over them.

Even Janice’s party looked worried about their condition. Summoning Darius, and his family they appeared in a matter of minutes. Bursting through the door I got a face full of boobs for not moving quick enough. Feeling the bloodlust coming from behind me I pulled the four daughters off me quickly rejoining my group. As I did the bloodlust disappeared leaving a peaceful atmosphere.

“My word! What happened to you, and your parents?”, Darius said in a panic, “Your parents, where are they?”

Looking down at the ground the tears started falling as they attached themselves to Darius. Informing his family that these five children were all that remained Darius became enraged. Swearing to beat some sense into the bastards I shook my head. Giving him the information I gathered he realized it be the same as declaring war. Deciding to take them in as his own his family gave no complaints. Seeing them off Darius’s wife threw me a curveball.

“Dear, why don’t we have the four girls stay here? It shouldn’t be an issue since he already has six guests.”, she said hiding behind her fan.

Cramping up from the shock I hesitantly looked back at Darius, and his wife. Grinning like the devil she knew she had me on the ropes.

“I don’t see an issue with it. Maybe they will find a suitor if they stick around him.”, Darius said giving me a thumbs up.

“Don’t feed me to the sharks!!”, I mentally told him.

Informing me they’d be back the family left us. My face was twitching uncontrollably thanks to that she-devil. Now I was stuck with ten good-looking women in my house that I couldn’t touch. Joan was grinning away at me like she knew something. Running over to her I begged her to tell me what she saw in my future. Patting me on the back she gave me tearful thumbs up.

“What does that mean!?”, I asked her.

“Oh, it means I know how many women your going to have in your harem at the beginning of spring next year.”, she said, “Don’t worry I already broke the news to the others so they are prepared.”

Falling to my knees I curled up into a ball. The way she phrased it I was in for a world of hurt. I never realized how dangerous harems were to a mans health. Dusting myself off I returned to my normal self steeling myself for the test of my mental strength.

“Alright! I am officially making a man cave once I destroy the druid weapon!”, I proclaimed.

Everyone, but the heroines were a bit confused. Eyeing me down the five of them asked me what I intended to put in there.

“Blacksmith equipment, equipment for working on the van, a pool table, a bar, some sofa’s, and most importantly…A BIG SCREEN TELEVISION!!!”, I said with excitement.

“And where do you intend to get one, and what would you play on it? This isn’t earth after all.”, they said.

I fell to my knees once again realizing my dream of a big screen tv would never happen. Modifying my plan I decided to put a basketball hoop in instead.

“Decoration?”, they asked narrowing their eyes.

“Of course the normal man cave decoration!”, I said never actually having been in one.

I assumed getting alcohol items like signs, kegs, glasses, and other such items would suffice. Whispering to the others they suddenly got very irritated.

“What’s wrong? To much?”, I asked.

“So having so many beauties in the mansion isn’t enough…”, Susan said as her fist cracked.

Thinking about it for a moment I remembered watching a few movies where the man cave was filled with nothing, but porn. Realizing my mistake I tried to correct the misunderstanding. I didn’t get the chance, sadly. I ended up getting beaten down before I corrected their misunderstanding. Sighing with relief they said those items were allowed.

“I really have to think before I say things…more women equals more kicks to the balls.”, I thought curled up in pain.

Setting aside my mancave as the four women showed up they handed me a letter from Darius. Cautiously opening it I regretted it almost right away.

The letter read, “James, please take good care of all my daughters! I expect to hear great things about my son-in-law. Just so you know the wife, and I want many grandchildren so make sure you do your best!”

Twitching in anger I read the last line.

“Oh, and also so you know they are ready whenever-”

“GOD DAMN IT!!!”, I said ripping the letter apart.

Throwing the letter in the trash I retreated to the bar in the study. Pouring myself a tall mug of beer I chugged it in one go. Before I got to far into my drinking the women came into the room.

“This is bad…I need to get smashed, and quickly!”, I thought.

Reaching for the spout again my mug was taken from me. Looking back I was receiving expectant stares from everyone. Backing up against the bar I tried calming everyone down.

“We need to have a conversation.”, Marianne said.

“So you have to stay sober till after we finish!”, Hesta snapped.

“Alright…”, I said bracing myself.

Sitting down like this was a peace treaty I was the only one on my side of the table. Sliding me a sheet of paper the demands were written down from their side.

“Maximum of forty members, no dirty photos other than of the forty for my eyes only, dedicate time every week to family events, no extended trips from home…set marriage date or dates…”, I said reading the list.

With a sigh I knew deep down this was going to happen eventually. I should have known that there would be a limit to their tolerance, and I had found just that. Reading through the rest of the list of items I only found one I disputed. Crossing it out I slid the paper back to them like I was haggling on goods. Having crossed out the maximum number I was kind of hoping they’d let it slide as I would agree to everything else.

A discussion broke out on their side where ten individuals who weren’t in the harem were joining in. It was one thing if I was the one choosing, but I wasn’t going to let others choose for me. As their side returned from the discussion they looked at me with their poker faces.

“What is your cutoff?”, Brittany asked.

“Why does it matter to you!”, I said pointing at the ten guests, “I don’t remember asking you to join, especially you!”

“James, with them living under the same roof as you now it has already been spread around town that Janice’s group is in the harem.”, Joan said with a shrug.

“Wait…how did they find out?”, I asked, “As far as I knew the public was told they were in hospital.”

Hearing whistling coming from Laura, and Marianne they told me they that it had slipped their minds when they informed some housewives. My face feel onto the table in disappointment.

“Plus I am sure Darius, and his wife will everyone you took all their daughters.”, Amber pointed out, “I doubt the siblings will argue that.”

“Why me…”, I said in defeat, “I just wanted to retire surround by beautiful women on a tropical island.”

“Are you trying to tell us something?”, Amber said with a cramped expression.

“Yes, at this rate I won’t ever retire.”, I said.

“Oh…”, the women said with a sigh, “Why not?”

“Because…for some reason all the women I am attracted to are so bloody expensive…”, I said, “Adding four princesses, a heroine, and five former nobles is an expensive addition.”

“You got that stupid money-making machine from that genie a few years ago. You should have a large fortune saved now.”, Almina said.

“…true…”, I said.

“What now?”, Hesta asked.

“I am curious about this as well.”, Lucilla asked, “It isn’t everyday one finds a genie.”

“Well we got a magic lamp a few years back for lifting a curse on a nobleman’s daughter. I wanted to wish for infinite wealth, but the genie couldn’t grant it.”, I said, “In the end I wish for a magic item that would pull all misplaced change to it for us to spend.”

“What do you mean?”, Lucilla said.

“You ever lost some spare change in a sofa before?”, I asked.

“I think almost everyone has at one point, or another.”, Susan said.

“Well this item pulls change like that from those places, and drops them in our treasure room.”, I said, “I had almost forgotten about that as I have been using the money we got from killing that Ancient Dragon.”

“So then you probably have quite a lot of money then.”, Susan said, “There shouldn’t be a problem then adding them, right?”

“I thought you didn’t get along with the four princesses?”, I asked.

“We can work things out.”, they said.

“Why are you being so accommodating now?”, I asked.

“Because knowing you they will catch you at your weakest, and you will easily give in to sleeping with them.”, Amber said.

“We already had to stop Janice’s group from ambushing you in the bath.”, Ruby said with a sigh.

“Oh…”, I said realizing how close I came to a massacre.

“We agreed to forget about the max number if you do everything else. So when is the wedding?”, they asked.

“Dola’s thirteenth birthday.”, I said.

“Okay. That is plenty of time to plan things out, and get things arranged.”, they said already making plans.

Listening to them talk I resigned myself to becoming an old man before I could retire.

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